so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
