my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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