Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
