we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
