I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
