She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
