I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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