I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
