Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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