He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
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Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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