Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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