dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
