Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
