That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
