what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize