I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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