So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't notice because vodka
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
