Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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