I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
