yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
