Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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