I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
