I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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