According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
