I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize