Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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