so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just high enough for therapy.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
