But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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