I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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