I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.