Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it penis luge time yet?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!