Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable. http://tfl.nu/w2xg
  Replies (16) Good night (2776) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny http://tfl.nu/rat0
  Replies (24) Good night (1166) Bad night (3496)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (718): did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are? http://tfl.nu/17ys
  Replies (17) Good night (4159) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass http://tfl.nu/h161
  Replies (17) Good night (1319) Bad night (4456)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are. http://tfl.nu/u4g1
  Replies (21) Good night (7685) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!" http://tfl.nu/jokx
  Replies (9) Good night (5119) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things. http://tfl.nu/13io
  Replies (36) Good night (8439) Bad night (1398)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road. http://tfl.nu/vlcv
  Replies (19) Good night (3427) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right?????? http://tfl.nu/gecs
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (1799)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos. http://tfl.nu/iyzz
  Replies (4) Good night (1790) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother. http://tfl.nu/zr7r
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming http://tfl.nu/sgtd
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing. http://tfl.nu/a55j
  Replies (1) Good night (684) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday? http://tfl.nu/k0ma
  Replies (8) Good night (673) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card. http://tfl.nu/az1q
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (187)

Randomize