Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have post one night stand depression
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