i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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