when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
