that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Someone shit on the floor
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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