You're completely useless in the revolution.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
