You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
