I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
