I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
