He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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