In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
