i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
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