This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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