I think I died a long time ago.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
