Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize