like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
