some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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