A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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