He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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