I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
