yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
