our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
