god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
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I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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