I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
