she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
