I'm gonna have a badass scar
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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