Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
