He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
