Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
