you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
