Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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