are you still at the devil's house?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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