Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
