I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
