then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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