i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
