You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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