Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
