Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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