she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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