so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
