Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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